Ice bucket challenge: indie hipster edition.
Need this framed in my house
Papa Johns: thanks for choosing papa johns, what would you like to order?
Me: I have a coupon for half off a 1-topping pizza
Papa johns: OK, what topping would you like?
Me: the works.
Papa johns: ....that won't work
Me: why not?
Papa johns: that's like 8 toppings
My weakness is a girl pouting.
Went to a Disney character breakfast, and noticed Mary Poppins. I was peering to see her behind the tables in front of me.
Alice (in wonderland) snuck up behind me. “what are you looking for?” In the cutest voice
"I was looking for Mary Poppins"
Alice pouted, “you don’t want to see me?”
When I was a kid and they first taught me how tests have choice E for “answer not shown”
I usually went for that answer if I didn’t know any better.
Because I figured since I can choose 1 single answer from a-d, or choose a billion answer not shown through e, I had a better chance and getting a right answer.
In the 4th grade I had a friendship with this kid that was based exclusively around Pokemon. He asked me how much HP a human has, and I told him it depends on what level he was.
Possibly the scariest thing ever. I can’t.
I am trying to see things in perspective. My dog wants a bite of my peanut butter chocolate chip bagel. I know she cannot have this, because chocolate makes dogs very sick. My dog does not understand this. She pouts and wraps herself around my leg like a scarf and purrs and tries to convince me to give her just a tiny bit. When I do not give in, she eventually gives up and lays in the corner, under the piano, drooping and sad. I hope the universe has my best interest in mind like I have my dog’s. When I want something with my whole being, and the universe withholds it from me, I hope the universe thinks to herself: "Silly girl. She thinks this is what she wants, but she does not understand how it will hurt.– THEORIES ABOUT THE UNIVERSE by Blythe Baird (via thearistocatic)
I’ve been drinking WATERMELON
Friends are drugs. They leave you in deep withdrawals, you bend over backwards for them, and the results are mixed. You are never sure if its what you need, if there is better, but certainly they have something that you lack by yourself. You look to recreate that one time, but it’s never as good. Always hit or miss. And when you try to over do it its underwhelming and a steep slope back to reality. The reality is that its not what you think it is. It won’t ever be.
But that won’t stop you from going back. Drugs